Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. A number is a mathematical object used to count and measure.It is not a living thing and therefore does not possess thoughts and feelings.

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How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

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Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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Why did the Quantum chicken cross the road? It was already on both sides.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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kknocckkck knockckkckccck hue's theeeair? TTThhe pOOOliCCee. fffor whaaa? yyouu rr arreesstedd forrr drrunkkkc dddrivvinnng! Puuut urerre frreaakkki'n hannnddss uppp!

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What would George washington do if he was still alive He isn't so we dont have to worry about that.

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A white guy, spanish guy, and a black guy jump off a roof. They were all killed on impact and their families will mourn their loss for years to come.

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What did the lawyer name his daughter. he couldnt because both the baby and his wife died in child birth.

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Our societal waste doesn't deserve to be called a group. They fail to organize themselves and lack the intelligence to support themselves. Let's call them a collective. Similar to dust, or smarter than them, bacteria.

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The Juice where prosecuted by many time.

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your mammas so big that she needs paint rollers to put on lipstick

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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Is that a banana in your pocket? As a matter of fact, yes it is.

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What made people stop likeing Ice tea? Ice-T

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How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

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What did the docter say to its patient? What?? Im sorry sir you have aids

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Whats worse than falling off a bike? rape.

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Q: What do yoiuo call an Italian butler? A: Vinny

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I have 20 dollars and 27 cents. How much money do I have? 20.28$ I found a penny.

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Knock Knock Who's There Your doctor... You have Aids

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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