-knock knock! -doors open

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You still alive? I used to be called proteus by the way, but then you disappeared and Neronism or watever its called now turned insane. I mean we killed you man! Out of mercy, you telling me a jacket changed you and everything? Where have you been? Six million followers? And all the shit that has made "moral man" the most lauded thing on Horsehead is you? Mind helping me make sense out of all of this?

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Why did the man fart? He didn't. Stop being so dirty-minded.

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your mother is so fat that she eats a lot of high fat foods.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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Why did the Dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

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How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

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Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

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Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Because he had just come back from fighting in the Iraq war and she was extremely happy to see that he's alright

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Knock Knock Come in. Thanks.

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What's 9+10 20+1-1-1+2-1-1+1-2+1

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

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what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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