A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!". The grasshopper turns and says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the bird fall down? It got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man was eating a hamburger when a boy came up and took his hamburger. So the got up and went to the counter and orderd another hamburger

thumb_up thumb_down +37

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's worse than bombs? Nukes

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How are jello and frankenstein alike? Both green, both alive, and bill cosby didn't make me want either.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's worse than giong to Hell? Nothing. Hell is as bad as it gets.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

why do jews have such big noses? A: it has been inherited through many generations

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a person with no arms? Armless.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did Bert go to the doctor? He had an appointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is worse than writing a really terrible joke on anti-joke.com? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops