Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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You cant spell chorus with out... Vagina!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

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Sometimes when I'm horny, I put vinegar on my diick

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Q.what has big ears? A.your vagina.

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-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

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Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

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Q: How many hair styles do celebreties induce annualy? A: I have no clue but I'm pretty sure that's a midget defacing your house!

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Why did the baby's bedroom smell so bad? The mom farted.

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This joke is funny

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Forget about them, do not compare yourself to those beneath you, you always wanted to help as many as possible, in a world where everyone fights for themselves only.

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Your mom is so fat she wears large clothes

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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What do you call a baby impaled on a stick? Lunch.

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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A mormon walked into a bar and realised it was a bar the he leaves

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In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

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What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops