Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

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Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

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A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

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My life is a dream in of itself.. inception???

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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On monday morning the doctor walked into a patient's room, then he walked out after a quick check up.

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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I like colin but not as much as apple

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What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

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What is worse than The Holocaust? That's a difficult question to answer. The term "worse" is highly subjective. It really all depends on your own personal experiences, your ethnicity, and cultural background.

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so your skydiving in the ocean and one of you bedroom windows break. how many bloodstains does it take to paint a peice of bread covered in goat milk? the answer is D. 2731 books on cannabalism

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Pick up Lines skeet skeet skeet! JLR

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How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

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What's wet and pink and fun to watch in someone's face? A big bubble gum bubble exploding into someone's face.

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

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What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

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Why couldn't the little girl color in her coloring book? Her arms were amputated.

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops