A man walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano and a 12 inch pianist, which is really just his member with a smiley face drawn on it. Somebody calls the police muttering, "What is this world coming to?"

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

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Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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What's more likely to happen in 2011 than the rapture? Finding my real parents.

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why didn't the boy get any presents for his birthday? because when his dad went to the store to get him some presents he ended up buying presents for himself like a huge douchebag.... and the apple doesn't fall from the tree so his son is a douchebag too and doesn't deserve presents.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

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Slow and steady wins the race, But only in some cases. Mostly never.

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Things to do get an A on my test win my hockey game become immortal well that escalated quickly

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

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why did the black man attend the AA meeting? his wife told him the only way she would stay with him is if he would attend these meetings, he was an alcoholic and is dying of liver failure.

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Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

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what do you call a Puerto Rican with no arms? Trust worthy

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What the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

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Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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Why you don't laught when you see a black guy on a scooter? Because it could be your.

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Whats green and has wheels? A green car.

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Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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Yo mama so dirty she takes a shower every night

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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