What makes a subaru a subaru? The fag thats driving it

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs? A: Disabled.

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Why did no one throw a fridge at the boy on the swing? Because fridges are heavy.

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What is white and smells like wood? White painted wood

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Why is Diarreah genetic? It runs in your genes.

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I know a kid named Ruslonia. What type of name is that?

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How do you kill a circus? Assuming this is metaphorical usage of the word 'kill', you would withdraw funds, involve the SPCA and offer all the major performers better contracts elsewhere.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was osama bin laden

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Yo mama's so fat, she's at risk for a number of obesity related disseases, including diabetes, hypertension, and heart dissease.

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What do you find in a pile of dead babies? ************************************************ A dead baby.

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What did the mexican say to the black guy before he went to work. Hey

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Whats great about F***ing twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Knock knock

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So a Dog walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of skotch, the bartender realizes he must be dreaming. At that very moment he realises he is in a lucid dream. Since this is the case he decides to murder his wife who is in bed right next to him as an expiriment. Since its a lucid dream it doesnt matter. Next he goes down to the fridge and pulls out some old pizza. He sits down for about half an hour eating it along with a box of tuis that also magically appeared in his fridge. Then he goes outside steals the neighbours car takes it for a ride to his Sister-In-Laws house who he has always wanted to root. He goes over breaks the window with his hand. The lucid dream feels so real to him because he pains from the glass in his hand and then he goes up stairs finds his sister-in-law sleeping so he hops into bed with her. At the same moment the police arrive because they followed him from his home were they recieved complants they heard him kill his wife. Everything starts to turn into a nightmare, so scared he trys to make himself wake up. However he cannot. This is not a lucid dream. This is reality. Pizza was in his fridge because he had it for dinner the night before, Beer did not magically appear. his wife had bought it when she went gorccery shopping. He killed his wife, then stole his neighbours car and attempted to rape his Sister-in-law. So now he is going to jail. And no lawyer wants to take up the case so this man is doomed. No hope at all of ever being a free man again

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There were three brothers. Big, Harry and Dick. They were walking along the road and were all instantly killed by a drunk driver. Their names were never mentioned and their story was used as a promotion for the seriousness of drunk driving and should not be taken lightly.

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Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

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Is it true that curiousity killed the cat? No, I hit it multiple times with a baseball bat

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There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."

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What did the cat say to the cat? Miau

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what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

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Roses are red Viloets are unicorns this? doesn't make sense Refridgeator

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How do you make a little boy cry? You rape his dog

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q: Why don't chicken breasts have nipples? A: because if you freeze them, they will pop the package.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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