Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

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Two men walked into a bar. I'm surprised the second man did not duck out of the way.

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One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

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Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? That would depend on the individual situation at hand and to assume you could accurately estimate that is ridiculous.

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Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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What do you call an Asian man in a car? A motorist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

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Knock, Knock. Come in!

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Morning wood.

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Because she has down's syndrome

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- Why Mexicans have small steering wheels in their cars? - Because of this they are able to drive a car in handcuffs.

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i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

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Q: Why are black people afraid of Chainsaws? A: Because it could kill them as it could any other individual.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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I can be considerate if like someone is burning to death and I was the one considerate enough to lit them on fire... Wait no, I am considerate towards my friends (which are all ladies, all men besides me are obstacles and nothing else) AAAAND my logic processor broke down. Anyway, please do me the honors, take the last message.

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There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

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WHO WANTS SOW????

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What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

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What does a black guy and an apple have in common? They're both apples except for the black guy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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