your life

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What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We are here to inform you that your daughter has died in a drunk driving accident.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My body is ready I want you

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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What mother loved her son so much, she gave him a scar on his forehead for it? Lily Potter.

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Why are anti jokes so funny? Because their not.

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Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

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Why did the girl kill herself? she was depressed.

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My aunt said slow and steady wins the race....... She died in a fire

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What's worse than 1 bee sting ? 2 bee stings What's worse than 2 bee stings ? the holocaust what's worse than the holocaust ? 3 bee stings

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A hermaphrodite walks into a bakery, orders an eclair, then leaves.

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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What can an elevator do that a mexican can't? Raise a family.

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Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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I don't find blind jokes funny. Honestly, I just can't see the humor in them.

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what do you call a black clerk? one of the 2 billion people with a job, u bum!

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There once was a man from Nantucket Who was stung on the head by a wasp When asked if it hurt he replied, 'not a bit, and he could do it again if he'd like to.'

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Why did the blonde ask the doctor if she should get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anal surgery is the only solution.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Why was ticklish Tom not ticklish anymore? A: he got hit by a train

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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