How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It's an obscure number you've probably never heard of.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Homeless man....it's what's for dinner!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the alcoholic say to the blind man? Nothing. But he beat his wife and kids savagely.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the baby crying? Because it was just born and usually a baby cries when its born, if it dosent it usually means something is wrong, so the mother was happy to hear her baby cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

(Insert joke here)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did a policeman say to his belly? Nothing. Because he knows his belly is incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? There's twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What looks red and smells like barf? Depends on how you look at the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the young teenage boy E J A C U L A T E? because he saw his sexy dad shirtless.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A human walked into a bar, The bartender quacked, "quack quack quack" The human wondered why all the patrons and the bartender were ducks, so he left the bar, before his head spontaneously exploded.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

An owl and a squirrel were sitting on a tree branch. An acorn fell on the squirrel's head and surprised, the owl moved its head 3.276 degrees to the right. The squirrel apologized for the inconvenience, but the owl would not listen, so flew off to buy a ferry to help children with terminal illnesses get to school.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

penis?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how do you get an old man to fall? tip over his wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cause he was a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You're a big fat monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats worse than losing your phone? Buying a new one and then losing that

thumb_up thumb_down -9

White men's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the chicken cross the road? because his mother was dieing of terminal cancer in the hospital across the street where the bar was. he was drinking because he is an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

CAVE JOHNSON.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

snooki

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

ive got nothing funny to say, so this is what its like to be a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops