What do you call a 46 year old man with one eye 4'5 and has one arm coming out of his chest Steve

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What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

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Start by getting your fucking ass off this site and get me the fucking money asap yourself! And your contact information! Fuck your "eye for an eye" piece of shit example, I want redemption! If I am to live with self respect after losing a FUCKING EYEBALL! I demand that you lose EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR! YOU FUCKING QUEER HYPOCRITE! And I am not asking that you take away everything, I will take everything you hold dear away from you myself! Then again, why do that when I can get straight to the source and break your spine, and that is just the first step to making you wish you where dead! That you end up begging me for THE SWEET MERCY OF DEATH! Listen, if you want to talk, lets talk, if you claim to be so fucking powerful get on a goddamn jet and get over here yourself, no goons, no "shadows", no "followers" of "your order" when you present it, and "our order" when YOU FUCK UP! Only then will I "listen to reason", it is only reasonable you come out of your fucking hiding place and face me! I wont fight you, I wont kill you, but you better get your fucking face over here yourself.

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Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

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Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Roses are black, Violets are black Everything is black I can't see

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A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some men like Cheese, I have aids.

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What do you call a creepy person trying to break into your house? A robber

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69

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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What nickname do you give Harrison Kinney if he is good at remixing music? Harrison "Remix" Kinney

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

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Why did the blonde ask her doctor if she could get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anus surgery is the only solution.

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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Why didn't the hispanic muslim woman vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries? Because she lives in Connecticut where the primaries have not yet taken place.

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So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

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Kys

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What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

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What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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