What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Girl: How do I know if I'm Jewish? Guy: Are you Jewish? Girl: No. Guy: There ya go.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Person One: Knock Knock Person Two: Whos there? Person One: You can see its obviously me because theres not really a door there.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Bill and John are talking about types of cheese. The conversation drags on a bit and slowly changes topic. Bill says "I bet you I can bungy jump off a bridge". John chuckles before replying "I bet you can't". They go and find a bridge and Bill puts on his harness and ties himself to the side of the bridge. He throws himself off the edge and falls through the air screaming at the top of his voice. John cuts the bungy cord and Bill dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Bob: Hey Jim, what's up? Jim: Obviously the sky, oh and i see a few planes too. by the way why are you asking me why don't you just look up?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was young Ferdinand sad? He had a very rough day. In the morning he woke up. To find a man in his room, and then the man raped him. Then, Ferdinand found out that his whole family was killed by an angry rat. Then, he realized his grandma took away all his Christmas presents and ate them. Then, the angry rat showed up and brutally murdered Ferdinand and ate him. The rat then burped up Ferdinand and his family's bones, and on Ferdinand's bone there was something wrong, indicating that Ferdinand had cancer and would've died the next day anyway. The rat then got cancer from Ferdinand, and it died. That is why Ferdinand was sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, There are so many different endings to this, it makes me just wanna Shoot Myself!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the boy cry when he sat on Santa's lap? Because Santa's boner reminded him of his pedophiliac step-father.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is pink, female and has two dicks? A mother with two sons, both called Richard.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's one thing that bothers EVERYONE? Mother Theresa

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why didn't LeBron James go to college? Because the opportunity to secure millions of dollars in salary straight out of high school was too lucrative for him to pass up.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

kesha is a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are grey Violets are grey I live in Africa Give me water

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you make a little boy get off a swing? You are an adult and perhaps it is inappropriate for you to be on a swing, especially when it is already occupied by a child of the right age.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

jibby jobby

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Vagina cream... end of story

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What was the last thing to enter the bug's mind as it flew into the windshield? A: His back legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call it when a Priest, a Rabbi, and a Vicar meet for a drink at the bar? A social gathering.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops