Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What did the sniper say when a newsreporter asked what he felt when he shot a terrorist? The sniper replied: Recoil.

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Why did the rooster die. Because I killed it.

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If u read thus your awsome .... And if your a emo kid with rainbow hair and a 3 inch penis then NO your bad

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Yo mamma is so fat her blood type is RAGU

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I have a joke that involves a duck. Can you guess what it is? If not, then.......uh...........sorry.

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Roses are red, violetes are red, I'm colorblind

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Roses are red Violets are blue I would love you But you are too ugly and overweight

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They see me trollin' They hatin'...

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What is small, green, lives 10 meters under the ground and eat rocks? The little green rock eater!

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I never drink liquor alone... except for when I'm alone.

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What's worse than the holocaust? An open-minded black man.

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FOOL TOP COMMENT IS MINE!

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What's brown, black, and red all over? The burning cross on the lawn of a respectable African-American family.

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Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

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Q: What does a baby and an old man have in common? A: They both pee in public

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Color Blind people are so stupid that they can't even see color. I've been seeing color since I was a small child. They are so stupid.

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What did batman say to robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Beacuse she has no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's There? Not Sally.

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why is coltin alexander such a duche? because no one loves him

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Hey, you wanna hear a joke? The holocaust.

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A man walks into a bar, I forget the rest of this joke and your mother's a whore.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Fun Fact: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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