what did batman say to robin? get in the car

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A man wakes up in the hospital after being in a car accident. He begins to yell "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor hurries into the room to find out why the patient is yelling. The doctor then promptly explains that this was due to the crash severing his spinal cord and rendering him paraplegic for the rest of his life. The doctor after explaining this states he'll never walk again, before leaving the patient's room.

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How many of my Dad's "fishing buddies" have gone down to the basement for a "meeting", but never returned? 37 so far. I'm concerned. I seriously have never seen my dad fish. Pretty sure he doesn't own a fishing pole.

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a horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks why the long face? the horse, incapable of understanding any human dialect, promptly shits on the floor and leaves

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally!

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what do you call a masculine female? a post op transexual

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Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? A: 2 in the front, 3 in the back and 95 in the ash tray.

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I dyslexic man walks into a bra. This incident had no relation whatsoever to his condition. The bra was just in an unusual and inconvenient location, and he wasn't paying much attention to where he was going.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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In Soviet Russia, table flip you! ???? ? /(. - . \?

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a woman votes!

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why did the packers win the superbowl? because they were very good

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I didn't know that guy did crossfit

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What does a baby and a bowling ball share in common? They both displace a similar amount of water.

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A man went to the doctor, complaining about not feeling well after dancing the night before. The doctor quickly rushed to the surgeon to get ready for the liver transplant that had to take place.

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Wh do you call a Zeebra without black and white stripes? A horse

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What african eat for christmas Sand.

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Moral

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Why was the man upset? His entire family was murdered, skinned, separated into assorted body parts, and stapled to trees.

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what is the diference between my left tit and my right tit .... my right one was cut off because of breast cancer

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What is the difference between a baby and a log? I don't have a log in my fireplace

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On christmas, a bunch of happy kids get machine guns for christmas.Meanwhile in afghanistan, a bunch of dissapointed kids are getting ice skates.

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What is Osama Bin Laden's favourite colour? Doesn't matter. He's dead.

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knock knock who's there? orange orange who? orang you glad i didn't say knock knock agian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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