Whats the difference between a lamp and Morgan Freeman? Alot

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If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

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Why did twenty mexicans run down a hill? There was a marathon in the area.

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The only time when white and black are together When I've just taken a shit! ?ttis

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How to find if your overweight? Ask your friend to make a big clay volcano, out of baking soda and vinegar. While its erupting if you're too busy eatin five course dinner. FAT

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How do you cure aids? Jonathon siezed to care as he proceeded to cry when he was told his lemons were over the weight of what he'd expected

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What is the most hardest math known to man kind? 1+1=?

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't, he died in the middle of this task.

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A cat ran into the road...I hit it

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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Why did the girl drop her vannlia ice cream? Vannlia Ice punched her for being cool as ice.

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Man 1: Is your refrigerator running? Man 2: Nope, broke last week.

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Rebecca Black decided to sit in the front.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 2,091,029,203,284,485,389,684,564,345,089,859,849,485,374,094,394,584,584.00002394832323945834958349234854343432323343534342323243543534234358394564023285409564053942304923049234 x 10 to the 1234543565342312323560845834034th power divided by 0.

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son Scotty was grabbed by the sexual predator 4 blocks from the school, and your daughter Sally tried to run and is now under the wheels on the bus going round and round.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

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Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops. tom halls mum

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The girl was really drunk and passed out. She woke up the next day with a hangover.

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Yo momma's so fat, she's most likely to be at risk of high cholesterol and should probably get herself tested at her nearest health clinic.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mike. Oh, come in.

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where did little suzie go during 9/11 EVERYWHERE...

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Hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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