Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

why are jews so cash hungry? because like the rest of us they are looking for a way to survive and feed their family.

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

What do you do if you have a worm in your apple you throw it away

Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

Think of a number between 2 and 10? 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 11745028410270193852110555964462294895493038

Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was severely depressed.

How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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