A family goes to a talent agency and performs an act. They call themselves the aristocrats

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What is ET short for? Extra terrestrial

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. He was stapled to the baby.

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I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

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Why weren't the two gays invited to the office party? Because there is no office party until december, therefor no one was invited.

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Why am I righting in english? Because this is an english site.

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how long is a chinese name. how long. yup.

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A Dyslexic man went to a posh, bought a badnana, and put it no his neck, and lawked around twon.

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Where do fat girls go to eat doughnuts? Jenny Craig

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Sally." "Go away, Sally. I told you I am not interested." Kevin slammed the door on his colleague, as Sally proceeded to find somebody else and move on with her life. Kevin later in life became a drug addict, and got thrown in jail. Sally got married and had four kids, and while she feels bad for Kevin, she is happy with her life.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar

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What's been hit millions of times? A woman married to an abusive husband.

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What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Ronan Parke, making Justin Bieber look straight since 2009

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Q:Why did sarah fall off the swing? A:She had no arms. 1:Knock knock 2:who's there? 1:not sarah

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British Dentistry

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Very few things are worse than this international tragedy Over six million people died, most of them tortured before they died. But stepping on a thumb tack is way up there

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What do you you call a mexican that jumped the border? successful

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How do you confuse a blonde? Inform her that she is an illegitimate child resulting from a vicious, torturous rape and that her mother will never truly love her.

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What did one guy in the bar say to the other? Hi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops