Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

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Start by getting your fucking ass off this site and get me the fucking money asap yourself! And your contact information! Fuck your "eye for an eye" piece of shit example, I want redemption! If I am to live with self respect after losing a FUCKING EYEBALL! I demand that you lose EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR! YOU FUCKING QUEER HYPOCRITE! And I am not asking that you take away everything, I will take everything you hold dear away from you myself! Then again, why do that when I can get straight to the source and break your spine, and that is just the first step to making you wish you where dead! That you end up begging me for THE SWEET MERCY OF DEATH! Listen, if you want to talk, lets talk, if you claim to be so fucking powerful get on a goddamn jet and get over here yourself, no goons, no "shadows", no "followers" of "your order" when you present it, and "our order" when YOU FUCK UP! Only then will I "listen to reason", it is only reasonable you come out of your fucking hiding place and face me! I wont fight you, I wont kill you, but you better get your fucking face over here yourself.

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What do you call a black guy who is a lifeguard An African American male who puts his safety before others

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

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what cuts the grass on christmas eve and lives in mexico? JP I lied about Mexico jackin it in san diego

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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What's worse than speaking to a Russian bear? Gettting mauled and eaten by one.

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Whats the difference between a Preius and a vagina? One's the possibly the greatest invention of all time and possibly the only hope for the future of man kind. The others a Preius.

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what did the bot get for his birthday? .. men!

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Robocop and T-800 argue over who can run the fastest, Robocop claims he is the fastest, while T-800 says that he is the fastest. To settle things once and for all, they start a race. At first T-800 seems to be leading Then the T-800 is leading by a great distance. moments later the T-800 has a huge lead. But then suddenly, without any warning, the race shifts! T-800 is now leading only by a great distance! Yet in a amazing, and completely unexpected plot-twist. T-800 wins! Moral: :O

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A dog walks into a bar Because the door was open -Tag

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An Asian man is driving a car. He was on the way to the market to buy dinner for his family

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How many pairings of animals did Moses collect before the rain started? 1. 500 2. 50000 3. 500000000 4. Nobody really knows 5. It was Noah... Moral: Lol.

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whats the difference between a fur rug and a pile of dead babies? i dont lie on a fur rug to pleasure myself

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roses are red, violets are blue, apparently you are blind or else I wouldn't be telling this to you.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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John: Spell IT Mike: Q-U-A-D-R-A-M-E-C-H-A-N-I-C-S

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A psychotic man steals a Police Officer's handgun, the man runs down the street. What happened? He fell in a hole and died.

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Guess what? Holocaust

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A black man was walking down the street wearing a ski mask. It was cold outside.

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You have friends

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You heard about that piece of shit that says no all the time? Yes, I bet you haven't though. no.

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Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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