Why was the black man in school detention? For sleeping in and showing up late accidently

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's brown and sticky? A stick!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why is Kony so mean? He used to date your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

i said call 911 and they said whats the number?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the baby cross the road? Becuz it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Neil Lewis

thumb_up thumb_down -22

*see an orphan* Knock knock Whos there Not you parents ...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Jeff has 45 candy bars. He eats 40. What does Jeff have? Diabeetus

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

roses r nice violet are fine all be the 6 and you be 9

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the Jewish man say to the Shia faction Muslim man? Even though we have different views on god and religion I value your friendship more than my religous views.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many clowns fit in a car? Depends how many get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats white and big and white? alot of things...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

One day a man walked into a wall

thumb_up thumb_down -22

If Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee got in a fight, who would win? Chuck Norris, since Bruce Lee is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

how do you get 20 people in a mini? open the door would be a good start but i dont think they will all fit.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

24

thumb_up thumb_down -22

if 5+5=10 then 7+9=52

thumb_up thumb_down -22

a black man walks into a shop for an interview....everyone gets afraid and hides behind there desk..when the black man wonders why they are scarred he says "I'm here for the interview"...they all tell him to leave because on his resume he put his name as john...they thought he was white....

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops