Three guys walk in to a bar. One got a concussion.

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In Soviet Russia You drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

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Your momma's so ugly, she has endure self-esteem issues relating to her appearance that have plagued her since grade school.

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So does Blake

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A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

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What do you get when you eat a bag of potatoes? The're all gone.

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women's rights

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A piece of wood walks into a bonfire. Wood can't walk.

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why did Kelsey fall off the swing? because she has no arms Knock Knock who's there? not Kelsey

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Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new car? ....neither did he.

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Roses are red , Violets Are Blue , i Dont Like rhyming , TITTIES !!

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? You poke-er--face....pokerface.

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What's the difference between 15 dead babies and a cadilac? I don't have a cadilac.

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So 2 black guys walk into a bar and the bartender looks around and say "what will you fine gentlemen have?" and they order and payed their tab and could not have been more courteous, amirite?

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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Why was Harry arrested? Because he stabbed multiple children.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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A black man walks into a Ku Klux Klan meeting.

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why couldnt the polish people live in the outhouse? because the mexicans in the basement were too noisy

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why did the black man get kicked out of the hospital? nothing was wrong with him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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