Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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I walked in ony my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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your mom is so stupid she has a low iq

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what did the radish say to the orange i'm a radish

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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Jimmy wanted a bike for Christmas He got cancer instead.

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What's brown and white all over? Chad butthole

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How do you get a man out of a box? Blow the box up

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How do you confuse a blonde? To get to the other side

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Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Come in.

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Yo momma's so stupid she comes up in a lot of jokes titled "yo momma jokes"

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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A little boy walks up to his father and asks him a question, "Daddy, how are babies born?" His father then replies in an enthusiastic manner, "You see, I stuck my dick in your mom's vag and started pounding. Apparently two condoms defeat the purpose."

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Why did the rooster die. Because I killed it.

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If u read thus your awsome .... And if your a emo kid with rainbow hair and a 3 inch penis then NO your bad

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Yo mamma is so fat her blood type is RAGU

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What did the sniper say when a newsreporter asked what he felt when he shot a terrorist? The sniper replied: Recoil.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I would love you But you are too ugly and overweight

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What is small, green, lives 10 meters under the ground and eat rocks? The little green rock eater!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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