Q: What did Albert Einstein say to Adolf Hitler? A: They never talked. And if Albert Einstein did say something to Adolf Hitler, he would have died first.

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Why did the jewish plumber commit suicide? After years abuse from his alcoholic father and rich sibling, he finally snapped and killed himself on his birthday after nobody told him happy birthday.

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What was the prostitute's favorite number? 68

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Why didn't the man jump out of his window when his house was on fire? Because he is afraid of heights.

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So there's this big ass moose, and he walks into this grocery store, & asks the cashier "which isle are the potatoes in?" the lady replies, "down isle 5." so the moose walks down to isle 5 and there weren't any potatoes!

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What does a camel wear at war? Camelflage

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I may have alzheimer's but at least I don't have alzheimer's.

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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When life hands you melons it means you're dyslexic.

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Why did little Lisa fall off the swings? She had no arms

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Yo mama's so gay, she's a guy.

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Your momma's so dumb she graduated high school with a C average.

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How do you get a priest out of a tree? Throw a canoe at him.

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There were three men standing outside. They were enjoying the nice weather.

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Why were the Jews stuck in Germany? Because Joseph Rosenstein and his Jewish family missed their train out of Frankfurt to go to Paris, and so they had to stay another night in their hotel.

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Q: Why are asians good at math? A: Because they study with their tutor every tuesday

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a free-range chicken

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Why did the Japanese piliot crash into the ship? Because he has motion sickness and puked all over the wind shield making it so he can't see.

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whats worse then finding a worn in your apple the holocaust whats worse then the holocaust two worms in your apple

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Knock Knock Who's there? Yes.

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A kid walked into a bar and ordered a drink and then was arrested for drinking under the age of 18

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there was a guy who wanted to be bad and have bitches but he died from all the smoking and drinking and went to hell for eternal damnation

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a road? To get to the other side.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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