What do you call a 3 legged dog on a red unicycle? An unlikely set of circumstances.

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Hey, what’s your problem? I’m a Catholic whore currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend who works in a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam. a.w. j.p.

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Sorry, had it not been for my contacts, you would all have ended up in prison because of "The Wiz", I know you got a clean plate, but this guy was doing some seriously dirty laundry claiming to be working for "The Order", again it is best you all keep low, I will make sure my men evacuate this place as soon as we have rigged the game to your favor. As far as we can tell, he was the only one leaking Intel, but I suggest you keep an close eye on the rest of your boys and girls.

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What's the difference between an X-box and Michael Jackson? One is an inanimate object and the other is a human being.

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A Russian who dosen't like vodka

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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Where do dizzy cows go? In circles...

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Q: what did the dad get for playing baseball with his son? A: a line drive to his balls

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What did Helen Keller say when she got raped? Stop raping me.

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A doctor walks into a bar, he stumbles backwards as he is taking his coat off, and the barman chuckles.

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if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

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ur mamas so ugly cause when she looked up at the sky it started to rain

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what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? The UPS guy dumb ass

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How are a pizza and a jew similar? They both are people aside from the pizza.

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How many jews can you fit into an ash-tray? none because the volume of a human is much greater than an any ash-tray

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf.

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If Santa's not real, then who pees on the tree every morning?

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wael.. nuff said

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can you touch your toes? no

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WOw you have no life

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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Roses are Red, uh..uh..ahhhhh oh shit I just came that curse is true

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I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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