How do you annoy Lady Gaga? Stab her with a knife.

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your mother is so rather large that when she stepped onto a scale, it stated her exact body weight which was 280 pounds. Which come to think of it isn't that big considering that obesity is now the norm and average people are referred to as abnormal.

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There was an american man on the way to work.

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What's rape when you shout surprise? The crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him, especially by the threat or use of violence.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

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Roses are red, violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't you worry I'll be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.

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Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

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how do you make a door cry? twist its nob

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Chuck Norris threw a grendade, killed 50 people, then it exploded This is a highly improbable event considering no man is faster then a grenade

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A blonde was drinking water from the water fountain. She was very thirsty.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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theres a mexican women and a black man in a car....whos driving? nobody sadly the driver was shot.

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Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

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what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doc, I blacked out last night and have a sore ass." The doctor took some x-rays and informed him he had colon cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

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Q: What do you call a grammatically incorrect horse? A: An horse

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some people are gay, and so are you

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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A man walk into a bar. Just kidding he has no legs.

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I hate cripple jokes! I just can't stand them!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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