Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock. Man: Who's there? Hooker: The hooker you called for. Man: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. Wife: Honey, who is it? Man: The hooker I called for, but you haven't left yet. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's black and crawls around on eight legs? An octopus that just inked itself.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the church group do at their picnic? drink the kool aid

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I was watching this movie..... its over now.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Look at the statement immediately below. Look at the statement immediately above. Hahaha! You cannot read this text! Therefore, the following joke fails to qualify as a joke and is therefore an anti-joke by virtue of constitution: Yo mama!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what is blue and fluffy, a blue fluff. what is red and fluffy, a polar bear wiped in red paint. you probably should not have done that because now the polar bear is chasing after you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens aren't very intelligent and therefore it didn't see the possible dangers that could occur.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock! whos there? Me! I kill you!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: Why is Abu Soooo Dank? A: Because he scores too many left-foot bangers

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A terrorist gets on a plane. He has a pleasant flight and gets off in a new country.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Well that sucks, your dad is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a guitar with only one string? A guitar.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops