What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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A young black guy was explaining how he was raised by a single mother

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this is just a tribute to the greatest anti-joke ever told as I can't quite remember how it went, but you gotta beleive me, you just had to be there, it's a matter of opinion.

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if ruddell was gay what would he be? a gay prick

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I just flew here from Cleveland, and boy are my arms tired! The people on either side of me were hogging the armrests, so I had to kind of tuck my arms up behind my head and it was very uncomfortable.

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Q: What do you call someone who cant swim? A: A person that cant swim.

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How else can an Asian wear a contact lens? Too bad for them. They can;t sucks for them. Asians with small eyes EXCEPT FOR INDIANS look ugly

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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Got Milk? Why yes! Yes I do!

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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my grandpa has the heart of a lion, and a permanent ban to the zoo.

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What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

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What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

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ur mum

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What's worse than having to watch your dad rape your mom? Having to watch your mom rape your dad.

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Q. How many Jews can you fit in a car? A. Four, I drive a Volkswagen Jetta

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

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why did the dog eat its breakfast of meat because he was hungry

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How many men does it take to wallpaper a room? It depends on how big the room is and, to a lesser extent, how wide the strips of wallpaper are. Also factor in variables such as ambient humidity.

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What do you call a blonde with great maths skills? A smart person with blonde hair.

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Women don't need an education. The only book they need is a recipe book.

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.der era sesoR .eulb era steloiV .sdrawkcab nettirw saw ecnetnes sihT .yrgnuh m'I won dnA

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Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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