- Anti Joke

A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the beer from the other man and throws it on the floor, breaking it. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

So, I'm sitting by this guy in Science class and we're learning about fungi. So this guy is being really nice and I tell him, "Bro, you're just a FUNgi to hang around", like fun guy.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well I'll tell you. He was happily gliding down the sidewalk when he realized that his destination was across the road. He then proceeds to take In his surroundings . He finds that there is no indication telling him to stop so he then cautiously walks across the road watching for any dangerous movement. He safely makes it across and proceeds to his destination which is the slaughtering house. He is a retarded chicken

Top ten reasons Microsoft Doors is better than Microsoft Windows. 1. Easier to open. 2. Doors do not crash... Windows does! 3. Watching pron? Your mother around? JUST SLAM THAT SHlT ON HER FACE! 4. Saves power! (Its easier to just shut and open doors) 5. Doors are a lot easier to get trough than windows. 6. When windows wishes you welcome the first time you install it, you still cant wipe your damn feet on it! 7. Its easier to surf on the internet on top of doors than on windows. 8. While Windows is easy to hack because you can try codes forever, you can just buy a good lock on your door and shut it. 9.The sun glaring on your screen trough your windows? GET MICROSOFT DOORS! 10. I dare you make one, i live doing this shit. Capcom before. And special thanks to you! Thanks for playing! Capcom now: Fuck off thats not DLC paywall! its actual downloadable only content! Just pay 45 bucks to get all colors to all characters.... ...Downloading Allcolors 10kb

Did you hear about Helen Keller's dog? Neither did she.

What did everyone call the ginger kid? Jimmy as that was his name...

Stand back, I don't want to hit anyone with the axe.

Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

What do a grape and an elephant have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

A married couple lies in bed, making out. They must really love each other.

What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

Q-Jetski A-How is olive oil made?

Why did the boy fall out of the plane. Because the plane was on fire.

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969

What did the math teacher get after he ate and he ate? A full stomach.

Why did the little boy die? He had cancer.

A blonde, ginger, and brunette took the SAT. They all performed successfully and were admitted into their colleges of choice.

what do you call cheese that is not yours? stolen property

Men's rights

A duck walks into a bar and the bartender--TOAST

No your aunties a joke

Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by a fridge. Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she got hit by a fridge. Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because it had no face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops