Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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What did the girl say to the mute? "Why are you so quiet?" How did the mute respond? He flipped her off.

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Did you hear about the kid-napping in Minnesota? He woke up

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Why did the girl get run over by a bus? The bus driver was blind.

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So there is two clowns. Pickle and Jim. If you were asked who was funnier, you would probably say pickle. Well you would be wrong. It's Jim.

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women's rights

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My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

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What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

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A jewish man walks into a bar and then gets hit in the testicles. he now has testicular cancer.

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and lasagna? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

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Guess where my mom lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my dad lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my aunt lives Utah!?!?!? NO!!!! Trick Question b... she's dead

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Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

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What do you call a Black Priest? His title would probably be Reverend, and then his last name after it.

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A doctor rides in his Mercedes Benz through a rough, poor part of town. He sees a homeless person who is begging for money. The doctor stops and gets out of his car and asks "Ill give you some money if you need it for food". The homeless person then shoots and kills the doctor, takes his wallet, and buys crack.

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roses are red violets are blue i just made you remember two girls one cup

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In Soviet Russia..... the exact same thing happens, stupid.

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So, a man walks into a bar, and he ends up in intensive care, because the bar was very hot and gave him severe burns. He was on business in an industrial park.

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I was chatting to a woman in a bar, when the subject of kids came up. I said, "My son has had to wear nappies for his entire life." "That's awful," she said, "what's wrong with him?" I replied, "Nothing. He's two and a half."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why the f*** do so many people ask this question?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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What did the man do after he got in his car with out his keys? He started it up and drove Away

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Black, det er geita, banke driten ut av Anders, han griner, dreper ikke, vil du ha telefonen eller? Jeg kommer med den litt senere, skal bare tørke blodet først pønsha han hardt i tryne blør ifra knyttnevene, skal jeg knekke bena på han eller noe? Geita. Ps Pen fitte har du flere bilder av a elle? Hvilket rom?

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Why did the guy playing Monopoly sell Boardwalk for $100 to the woman wearing an exotic outfit which shows off her boobs but wouldn't sell Boardwalk for $1000 to the other person that was playing the game? The other person had Park Place as well which would have given them a monopoly on the blue property if he had sold it to that person. And $100 is all the girl had or he would have asked for more but he needed the $100 in order to pay this other player and keep himself from going bankrupt after landing on one of his Hotels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops