"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

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who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

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what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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What did the asian do with his homework? finish it. as is expected from children his age.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus Why was Billy laughing? He was driving the bus Why did Bobby drop his ice cream? Billy put the bus in reverse Why was Johnny crying? Sally and Bobby stole the money from his bank account and now he is poor and homeless

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QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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What's green and smells like yellow paint? Green paint.

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what happened when a duck flew over the hunter during duck hunting season? the hunter shot at the bird, but fortunately, the hunter was nit very good so the duck flew back to his wife and children by the pond.

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Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Adolf Hitler.

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yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

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You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

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a disabled person walked into a bar..oh wait

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a free-range chicken

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So a man walks into a bar. Well, he trips over it because it was very low to the ground and he didn't see it.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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what did the scene kid get for christmas? a gift card which he used ironically.

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YOLO

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q: Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops