Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

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what is the difference between 10 and 3 7

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What did the disabled child say when I hit him with my car? *thunk*

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Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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Roses are shitty Violets are bitches I'm fat.

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Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

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it smells like up dog in here. whats that?

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A moose walks into a store and asks the lady where the potatoes are. She says "isle five". he walks to isle five and there were no potatoes

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Why did the teenager commit suicide? Because he was constantly being bullied in school, which caused him to be depressed. Days later he found out that his mother had breast cancer and was most likely not going to survive.

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if your paddling a backwards canoe up a waterfall and it loses its wheel, how many pancakes does it take to fill a dog house? the answer is 17 because aliens are allgeric to cows and mustard.

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What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? A long sleeve shirt

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Roses are red Viloets are unicorns this? doesn't make sense Refridgeator

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Your mama's p*ssy is so stank, she should probably consult her physician as she may have an easily treatable infection.

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I like my women like I like my coffee, a brewed beverage prepared from the roasted seeds of an evergreen shrub of the genus Coffea.

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Batman vs Superman the movie spoilers: Batman and Superman argue over how to handle some alien invaders, Batman wants to kill em, Superman believes he can save em. In the end they work together and save everybody. Moral: I hope they change the script, ever noticed how every hero vs hero themed movie/cartoon, ends up with them allying at the end? If ya do not believe me, just wait for the movie to come out.

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2 Black men walk into the bar.. Guess what? There still black.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

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Why did Tupac Shakur get shot? He was a famous and very controversial celebrity, which naturally led to having a lot of enemies.

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Black, det er geita, banke driten ut av Anders, han griner, dreper ikke, vil du ha telefonen eller? Jeg kommer med den litt senere, skal bare tørke blodet først pønsha han hardt i tryne blør ifra knyttnevene, skal jeg knekke bena på han eller noe? Geita. Ps Pen fitte har du flere bilder av a elle? Hvilket rom?

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whats worse than having a gay friend ? 9/11

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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I called this hot girl up from class one day. She told me to come over because no one was home. I got to her house, and no one was home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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