Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

What's worse than no wifi Nothing.

You will not press the like button.

What's worse than finding the Holocaust in your apple? Nothing

Knock knock *open*

How do you kill a blonde? By irreparably damaging a major organ. The same way you kill anything else.

What ever happened to the bartender that asked, "Why the long face?" He was punched hard on the face for asking a stupid cliche!

Why did the hockey cross the road? To get to KFC.

A young boy walks into a catholic church, he attends mass, and leaves.

What did dick Cheney say to his friend that he accidentally shot in the face while quail hunting? Sorry for shooting you in the face

Whats do Hispanics and Blacks have in common? They are both stereo-typically defined and thus the subject of many popular jokes.

What did the psychopath say to the firefighter? Can you lend me a few bucks? My clothes are dirty and I need to go to the launromat.

Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: Shoot it.

A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

Knock Knock! Who's there? The Police The Police who? We're sorry Ma'am your son has died in a car accident... --------- Knock Knock! Who's there? Not your son

Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... whats worst than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

What happen to the man who got drunk and passed out behind the wheel? He crashed into a tree, his car caught fire and then he got incinerated.

why did the man move away from me because he thought that i had crabs as pets

Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had Down-Syndrome.

A blonde walks into a bar, and hit it head on, she is now in the hospital grasping for her life but the threatening grips of hell keep pulling her into the wretched plains of fiery wrath and despair... -Avery Vartanian

What has two legs and bleeds alot? Half a cat!

tommy is retared

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

*Brother comes downstairs wet and naked* Mom: Did you enjoy your shower?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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