Queens Park rangers

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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What do you call the CEO of a successful company? Rich.

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How do you identify a Chinese tank? They smash their own people.

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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Why can't Jade Goody go swimming? Because she's dead.

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There was a fat man crying. I just told him the local Mc D's was arson attacked.

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Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

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Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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knock knock... who's there? your grandmother, now please let me in it's very cold outside. *you now proceed to open the door for your grandmother as she is elderly and you dont want her to freeze

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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why did the chicken cross the world becuase he had to go in the bathroom

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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long in the tooth!

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Why did captain hook die? He wiped asss

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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A: why do elephants paint their toenails red? B: why? A: so they can hide in cherry trees B: I don't get it A: have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? B: no... A: exactly

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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What do you call a bench full of white people The NBA

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YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops