How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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A blonde fails an exam because she did not study

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Where was susie after the explosion? Everywhere

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whats worse than a leaf in your bed? World hunger, global warming, the economy......

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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One dog says to the other "I love going for walks!" A women over-hears, screams "A Talking Dog!", and calls the police. The dog is put down and dissected for scientific research.

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

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What did the Jew say to the Catholic? Nothing. He is a mute you insensitive moron!

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Q: What do you call a drunk man driving a Corvette with no arms, no legs and a missing eye? A: A severely impaired driver

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Face Hunter is scum

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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there once was a black man who played basketball

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What did God do to help the little girl with terminal cancer? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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hey John will you make some copies

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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What smells like satans pubic hair and dresses like a woman? Vinny Trolia

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You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said, "No change. He's likely to die, too."

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hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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