roses are red violets are blue you little stupid a*s b**ch i aint f***ing with you

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? He has flourished throughout his musical career and is a very accomplished man, as he has won many Grammys

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Why didn't the man say, "Hello, Morgan Freeman!" when his friend walked by? Because his friend wasn't Morgan Freeman.

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I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

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What did the old person find on the internet? Porn.

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Harry Styles! - Louis

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Why can't the children hug his father? Because his father is dead.

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hashtags suck balls

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes and my have to get one of her legs amputated. It's actually quite sad.

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What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

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If your reading this you will realize that this sentence means nothing and I have just taken 5 seconds of your life that you'll never get back.

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What's a fat chinaman? A guy who somehow got obese on rice. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, whereas Michael Jackson was a singer.

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

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How does a black man cut his hair? At a hairdresser

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Why was the hiker upset? He was plummeting 1,500 feet to the ground after tripping on a rock too close to a cliff.

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What do you get when you kill justin beiber? A medal..

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I hate it when you can't tell whether a person is male or female.

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Anti pick up line: Boy: If I could re arrange the letters I would put U and I together. Girl: Oh really because if I could rearrange the letters I would put F and U together By Adam Chebali

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What's black and white and red all over? A panda with red paint splattered on it

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Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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