why is 6 scared of 7 because 7 is scary...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did the blue paint say to the red paint? i am blue

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So a Jewish Family wakes into a German Pizzeria. They were very satisfied with the service and ended up tipping the waiter 20%

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Who's the biggest badass in the nation? Adrenaline junky Jacobs!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The audience was ready, the stage was set, as soon as the show ended, the actors applauded towards the audience shouting ENCORE! The audience paid and went home, then they suddenly went... HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS SCENARIO!? They cared so much about one another, that they wanted to fall in love with each other. Now that is true love that is not love people! Nerometal (Ironically my name is Nero, I bet the Neronism guys name is Dwayne Maskdork or something, seriously...)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the blond stupid? She wasnt, its just that everyone loves stereotypes

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did Charlie do when he lost his golden ticket? He killed his grandpa to get it back.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Did you see my sandwitch? No. I am your sandwitch, and therefore no one thought to put me up to a mirror. Would you like me to? No. I have no eyes. And why are you talking to a sandwitch??? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the black college graduate say to the Jewish high school dropout? Do you want me to also clean your fourth floor executive bathroom, Mr. Bernstein?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. What did the wierd kid get for christmas A. A Pokemon diamond edition

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Priest: "Matt, will you take Senae to be your wife, your partner in life and your one true love? Will you cherish her friendship and love her today, tomorrow and forever? Will you trust and honor her, laugh with her and cry with her? Will you be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?" Matt: No

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Person 1- Ask me if I am a tree Person 2- Ok, are you a tree? Person 1- Nope

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Friends are like potatoes, when you eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:What do you call a sheep with no legs? A: A cloud.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's black and sits in the back of a police car? The seat.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the P.E. coach say to the fat kid? you need to exercise

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Who does creatine? James Cornish

thumb_up thumb_down -11

i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops