what do you call a man who is addicted to alcohol... an alcoholic

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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A man went to the doctor, complaining about not feeling well after dancing the night before. The doctor quickly rushed to the surgeon to get ready for the liver transplant that had to take place.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the gas man, I've come to read your meter, like we arranged.

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A man walks into a bar and a lady asks "Can I help you?" The man replies "No." and walks out of the bar.

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What do you call a dead baby who died by getting ran over by a car? Jimmy

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

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How do you stop a black man from bleeding? You give him a bandaid. What if he keeps crying? Tell him to stop. What if he cries more? Buy him an ostrich.

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What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

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a girl got a friend request from a unknown guy. she chated him asking who he was. he replied vamos a tener sexo caliente y vas a pedir mas rapido mas duro! vamos ser estrellos porno. the girl deleted him as a friend B.A.

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What sound does a snail make? Meow....... Think hard and you'll get it

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How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

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Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he thought he saw a dangerous predator in the area and crossed the road in an attempt to flee the dangerous situation.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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why didn't love legs cross the road because he had no balls

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Math mean: mental, abuse, to, human

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What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

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Whats white? A fridge

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Why did the road cross the chicken? The 2 nouns in the sentence has been switched.

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do you currently smoke? i hope not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops