A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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I took a vampire out for dinner last night. I expected her to cringe when I ordered a rare steak, but we decided not to let my tastes impact on the evening, sharing wine and many stories before heading back to my apartment.

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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What do fish and shoe laces have in common? nothing.

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Technically I did not try to, but I made you believe I tried in vain, so your subconcious is unable to register that it is under a state of trance, you could deny it, but you are in a state of trance right now. So how big are your breasts?

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Ginger woodpecker throbbing in the moonlight

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Whats the difference between a black man and a banana? Banana's don't hijack planes.

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Intel Core Computers answer robot flavored phones at middle of june CC

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Your mom is so old, that she should probably up her B-12 intake to avoid sickness.

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I would have made you laugh, but that is not the point is it? Moral: What do you expect from the 4th most pointless invention?

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. You wife was killed in an accident.

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Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinsons..

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know but some black man is starting up his deep-frier on the other side

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Why was Helen Keller a terrible driver? She was a woman.

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what rhymes with ham and bread? girl, make me a sandwich

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walk briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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I have an erection My mom!

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What did one stool say to the other stool? Stools don't speak!

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What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds? Michael Jackson is dead.

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a horse walkes into a bar... never mind that's just Sarah Jessica Parker

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when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

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Bartender: What are you having? Sally: Can I have a martini? Bartender: How do you want it? Sally: I want it tall and black, like my man.

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walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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