Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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Knock, Knock? Who's There? Not Suzie

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What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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tommy is retared

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Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

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What is 1 inch long and eats everyone in it's way .... my pet fish

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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What do you call a man with no home or family? Charles Manson…He currently resides in jail.

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What did the one eyed boy say at the movie theater? 3D was a boy choice

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He Died Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He was stapled the the first koala

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how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

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Whats slower than molasses? A dead baby.

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What is Hitler's least favorite month? July...

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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Why did the giant frog attack the party goers with a ballistic missile? oh where tos tart...it's, just such a long story, I don't really know where to begin, in fact it's probably better if you just take my word for it, no need to go into details. we just don't have time for that now.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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What do Elephants never forget? 9/11

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If Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee got in a fight, who would win? Chuck Norris, since Bruce Lee is dead.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Hahahahaha your nan had HIV and died.lol

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops