A man and his friend go hunting,one falls in a hole and appears dead. The friend calls 911 and asks what to do, the operator says ok first we need to make sure he's dead. The friend checks his pulse and finds out he is living, then an ambulance is sent and the hunter lives with minor injuries.

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The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

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I'm winning at Scrabble.

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What did the fish say when it was being fried? That's crazy, fish can't talk.

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what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

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What do you call a deaf-black man that professionally generates maps of the world? A cartographer.

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Why did the dyslexic chicken cross the toad? Because the toad mocked his dyslexia, and the chicken does not tolerate rude bastard toads.

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womens rights

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A blind man jumped out of the way as a car ran through the red light at a one way street.

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell out of the tree!

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What did the penis say to the other penis? What? Penis motherbucker

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I hope the Angels win the pennant No pun intended

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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There once were 2 cowboys who were lost on a dusty trail. Later on they found their way out and are now doing very successful

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So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

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Roses are red, violets are blue. You're dog is dead. And so is your family.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? haha! because 7 ate 9 no because 7 is black

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? One is a cat, the other is a banana.

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Knock knock! Who's there? ADHD ADHD wh-? SQUIRREL!

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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how big is a black mans penis? idk ask his wife

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops