Yo momma so stupid, she failed the 2nd grade math

Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

A woman went outside for some fresh air.

A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

What's funnier than 24? My life.

A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

What do you call a dead baby who died by getting ran over by a car? Jimmy

I love pissing people off :P

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a donkey

How did the prisoner escape from prison? He asked to leave.

Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

How do a jew, an African, and u white man stop a train? They pull the breaks

Why did the Japanese piliot crash into the ship? Because he has motion sickness and puked all over the wind shield making it so he can't see.

On a scale from 1-10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet?

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks GET OVER IT

I used to be an adventurer, but then I decided to retire.

Why did Jerry Sandusky appeal his conviction? Because the judge wrongly considered inadmissible evidence.

What's the difference between a cow and a Spanish person? To get to the other side

a seal walks into a club.

Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

What did the mute man say to his mother? Seeing as mute men can't talk, we'll never know

Whats worse than burning jews? jews that are alive

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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