A Mormon walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Very, very hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call an Arab driving a Plane? A Pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a black man with a Ph.D? Doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get when you cross a Pigeon with a Mailbox? A Carrier Pigeon, they are extinct now.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats wrose than slipping on a banana? Getting Shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A bar walks into a man. No, firstly it wasn't a man and secondly the bar didn't walk in. The pedophile just slid it in and sodomized the poor boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investigator

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats the difference between a bong and a nigger? My bong works

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A: Knock Knock B: Whos there A: Orange B: Orange who A: Arent you glad i didnt say chair

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

yo mama so stupid that when she stared at an orange jucie carton for 20 minutes cause it said consatrate

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I asked a Jewish girl for her number, so she rolled up her sleve

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A dying man walked into a shop and started to look at the clothing on display. Then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happened to the boy who survived a tragic car accident?? He stepped out of the car and got hit by a semi.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Three mexicans walk into a bathroom they all had to go pee.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

SCENE: A prirate walks into a bar with the wheel of the ship attached to his pants. BARTENDER: Doesn't that hurt? PIRATE: Aye! It drives me nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I was gonna tell a gay joke Butt fuck it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops