What's old and has wet pants? My grandma with a bladder problem

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Cannot tell, national security. As far as I care we are friends, therefore I cannot continue chatting with you for a while, its gonna seem pretty damn suspicious, I wont be repeating myself. Except again, do not worry, we will take care of this, and if not, I will contact you, you are not in any danger for the mean being, whoever are against us are looking for "Nero", not you, and I am pretty damn safe. By the way, I never lost an eye, but your "wiz" revealed himself by sharing that information, that part was the only ploy as far as I care, and it was necessary for everybody`s survival. Do not worry friend, I will call you sometime, but I recommend we stay off touch for at least 3 months, and that you stop using this site.

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A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

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roses are red violets are too im bleeding

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Person 1:why did the person fart Person 2: wh.... Person 1:shut up I'm not interested any more! Btw person 2 got interrupted

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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Check this web out www.hurr-durr.com

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what time does the japanese guy go to the dentist? well his appointment was for 11:30, so he might show up approximately 5 minutes prior to the appointment time, just to make sure everything goes steadily as planned

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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a black hispanic and asian man jump off a cliff they all die and their families morn their deaths

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Why do all black people have AIDS? Because they deserve it.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana Smith, I'm here for the Smith Family Reunion.

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Why did Helen Kelley's dog run away I'd run away to if my name was. Ughgughgughgiggughfufh.

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What's the difference between my father and my mother. My father isn't an alcoholic

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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whats worse than getting ur penis cut off......no holocaust

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Why did the man shoot himself? Because he already shot his wife.

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What did John's girlfriend get him for their 5 year anniversary? Proactive because his acne bothers her.

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chuck norris's daughter lost her virginity but he got it back

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I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a group of black guys riding on horseback? You don't. You call the cops first.

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There are 2 men are standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is named Peter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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