Roses are yellow, violets are grey, I'm colorblind

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr.dre

What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

One day a baby hit himself on the head with a stuffed animal. I lied, it was a brick, so he died.

Why couldn't the Black man become a surgeon? He was Blind.

What did the dog say to the house? Roof

Why did the Negro say no to the Aryan? It doesnt matter what he said! thats racist!

what do you call a woman with cancer wearing a wedding dress? a shouttellcock

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

knock knock who's there? faith

did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

If Tiger Woods is Asian and Black what is he? A golfer!

why couldn't the tree grow? Because I cut it down with a chainsaw

Why did Johnny fall off of the swing? The swing was defective. Knock, knock. Who's there? Johnny's lawyer.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead..

What has two legs and two arms? A Human

A duck walks into a bar, but he is kicked out because he is not 21

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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