Johnny walked up to his teacher one day and asked her to explain to him how babies were made. She instead whispered back to him, "Let me show you". He declined, because he wasn't prepared to be a father.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

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Do you know how to forget? No. Me either, I forgot.

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how do you make abus driver cry? you rip his limbs off.

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Why don't lesbians use dildoes? Because they look just like a big penises.

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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Vagina.

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whats green and falls from trees, pool tables.

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The Holocaust is worse than any number of bee stings. Unless, of course, bees separated people of certain ethnic backgrounds from their families and killed them off bit by bit by stinging them.

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besides saying "Oh, Yeah" and punching down walls, what does the kool-aid man do? drink cool aid

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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You know what me and Bill Cosby have in common? Katie..

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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Why was the gay guy sad?

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What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? An anachronistic hypothetical sporting event that would never happen.

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Punching a baby

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Why did thw chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland? Because if he's an actual historical figure he would have been born in modern day Palestine.

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

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what the difference between ET and polish people? ET is an alien and polish people are human

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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Women's Rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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