A man meets the girl of his dreams. Too bad the man will die in 3 days due to terminal cancer

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Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

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What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

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Little Justin's bike has a flat tire has a flat tire. He asks his dad to inflate it. "Sure Justin I can fix that for you." Said his father. But he overinflates the tire, causing the tire to explode and ignite the chemicals. The house burns to the ground, killing Justin and his parents. The fire then spreads and the hole city burns. 50,000 people die.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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how did the tree fall on the woman? it didnt, trees dont grow in kitchens

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What do you call a man who has been run over by a car? An Ambulance

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Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Im a Jew, Fart yourself.

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whats wrose than slipping on a banana? Getting Shot in the face.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? haha! because 7 ate 9 no because 7 is black

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

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why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

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yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

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A neutron walked into a bar and asked "how much for a drink?" The bartender did not reply because a neutron is so small he didn't notice that it even entered.

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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A husband and wife just had a baby, and he came out black.

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Whats worst than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worst than a pile of dead babies? One live baby under the pile of dead babies.

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What did the Catholic priest say after he fell off a cliff? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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Jews

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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