How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Again, what is it called when you are safely inside at winter your power is out, but the streets are full of people as the weather gets really bad and people start bouncing around? Blizzard Entertainment. What is it called when a robot lets out gas? Electronic fArts.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What do you call a Russian man who is on the moon? A cosmonaut

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Jesse gets so many ladies

thumb_up thumb_down -44

my dick is like a bridge. i dont know why.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? Obama is the president and a drug-dealer has lost his life to the awful streets.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

*Knock knock* I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Humans are pathetic: What kind of heaven is it when you die, and learn that everybody you love chose the wrong religion and is burning in hell? Moral: Human garbage!

thumb_up thumb_down -50

What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Your mom is so ugly that she was mercilessly bullied throughout high school which led to severe depression and low self-esteem, however she went to college, got a career, found a man who loved her for who she is, not how she looks, and raised a family happily ever after.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

whats the capital of congo famine

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What's funnier than the Holocaust? The Holocaust is not an idea of the slightest humor at all. Millions of innocent civilians were slaughtered, millions more were sent to brutal concentration camps where they would fight for a crumb of food on the ground and get terribly punished for it, and live their whole lives in pain, torture, and starvation, millions more were sent to concentration camps then murdered, and millions of people, including children were left without family or anywhere to live. On top of that, their whole lives they were mistreated for their differences, and never got to live up to their dreams because of this horrifying event. It left the world in shock for years after, and scars of the event still live on in present-day families whose ancestors were harmed in the Holocaust. The terrible memory of it will never leave this Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we've got a drink named after you!". The grasshopper turns and says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a convicted rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the man reach for his gun? Because he wanted to kill someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

there is a black guy and a mexican in a car whos driving? a cop

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's the biggest difference between white and black people? the melanin levels in their skin.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops