- Anti Joke

Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

-9

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

-9

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

-9

So Helen Keller walked into a bar... and then a chair.... and then a table..

-9

What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why wasn't the girl asked to the prom? Because she had cerebral palsy.

69

I think everybody should have a penis.

What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She got kicked in the face by a mule.

Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

What crawls on the ground and shoots arrows? Legless Legolas.

How do you know when it's hot outside? When you walk oside and it's hot.

Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

How to confuse a dumbass: see next post.

To tell the truth... Your really an abortion that grew

What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

Q: Why did the man have aids? A: He had unprotected sex with a man who had aids.

You!!!!!! Cause your whole existence is just one big joke.

What did the pony say when it lost its voice? Nothing. Ponies are incapable of speech.

Pandas Everywhere!!!

A sober Irish individual.

a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

So Helen Keller walked into a bar... and then a chair.... and then a table..

What's red and round? A red and round solid.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??