Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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Invisible Television.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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How did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room.

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What do you get when you cross and elephant and a dog? Nothing, because you cannot breed creatures of different geniuses.

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A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

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My mom told me about a funnel they make for women now that they can use to pee standing up. I told her it was a ploy to promote feminism.

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Lacrosse

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Why were the babies used for target practice? Hitler demanded the Nazis to do so.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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What's 8 inches long and makes my girlfriend cry when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage

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Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

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this site is funny.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? People leading healthy, active lives physically and socially.

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How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can people stop posting grammatically incorrect jokes on here. Half of the sentences do not make sense.

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Two monkeys are having sex. They both realize they're boys.

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What do you call a with no arms and no legs floating in the water? About to drown.

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lets see how many dislikes i can get from this...

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what did batman tell robin before they got into the batmobile? -let's get in the batmobile!

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whats worse than finding 30 babies nailed to 30 trees? finding coal in your stocking at christmas.

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Guy 1: "Hey, you have some updawg on your face." Guy 2: "Oh, thanks. Did I get it?" Guy 1: "Yeah, I think so."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops