david weres the slug gone

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A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "why do you have a wheel in your pants?"

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What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

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Knock Knock Who's there The Holocaust!

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A rapist is asked to teach a kindergarden class. The kids learn many things and have a great day.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Ellen: Knock knock Steve: Who's there? Ellen: Banana Steve: Banana who? Ellen is offline and can't receive messages right now.

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Donald Trump

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*DRRRRIN* Finally someone uses the doorbell.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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How do you kill a retard? you shoot him in the head

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What do you call a bunch of hobos having sexual intercourse? A soup kitchen

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

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Two dogs are sitting by a fire hydrant. One turns to the other and says absolutely nothing because dogs can't speak.

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What do you get when you cross a 747 with a passenger train? A large colission with hundreds dead and injured.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree," "Are you a tree?" "No."

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How do people from Indian Hill laugh? Like an Indian, huh, huh, huh!

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I've got a dig bick

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops