A man walks in to a bar, so he got hurt.

-Knock knock. ~Use the doorbell. -Ding dong. ~The witch is dead!

Let me tell you a story kids about Bill. Now bill seemed like any ordinary guy, he had a job a wife kids and he even coached the little league baseball team for boys. Well he had all the kids come to his house to celebrate the championships,they won, and he accidentally killed a kid while trying to hit a pinata. He had to kill the rest of the children to hide evidence so he killed them all quick and buried them in a 6ft. hole in his basement where they lay for 9 years today.

What did the English man say to the Japanese man? Nothing, they were incapable of conversation because of the language barrier created by the fact that neither had one another's language as a part of their curriculum.

Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

Why don't women bother to have penises? Because they're lazy and they don't care.

Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

Q: Whats the difference between a pile of dead babys and a Ferrari? A: I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

Why did the blonde turn red Because some one lit her on fire

Why was the user KyuremCult's name blacklisted on iFunny? She had been repeatedly banraided by people with no success, but because of the mass reports and the leading to some of her works being deleted, the system decided to blacklist her name from search.

What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

What's better than a nice hot shower on a cold, rainy day? Osama bin Laden rotting away at the bottom of the ocean.

Have a nice day! Dont tell me what to do.

what do you call white people running down a mountain? Avalanche What do you call black people running down a mountain? Jailbreak

What does a man want more than sex? Nothing.

Statues: Show what great people look like, if birds shit all over them.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: he was sucidal because his kids hate him and his wife cheated on him.

Why is the black guy afraid of the white guy? He's not, it's the other way around.

how do u make an infant cry? hit it in the face with a full grown salmon.

why was the stone green? I dont know thats why im asking -_-

Your mother is so old, she could easily be considered a senior citizen.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...