Q: What did Michael Jackson do while he was preparing for his newest world tour? A: He died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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What's the difference between a 7 year old boy and a 50 year old man? Hair.

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My friend Keith found a worm in his apple. He ate it anyways

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-What did the policeman say to the boy? -Hello.

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Yo mamas so ugly that when she looked out the window, she was arrested for mooning.

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Why did your ears get blasted with sound? You never turned the volume down..

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hi joshua

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? A rape victim.

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Yesterday I was walking my dog and while I was walking my dog, guess what happened? It got hit by a bus.

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Whats a welfare? Its what keeps you alive.

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Whats 89 x 67? Sponge. Whats 10 + 9? 19 Whats 9 + 10? 21!

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Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

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Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

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If I have a penny, and I give it to Michael Jackson, What will he do with it? Nothing. He's dead.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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Vote this up

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman.

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What did Justin Bieber say when he lost his tampon? Where's my tampon?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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