what brown, red, and green and smells like poop. diareeha

guess what chicken butt

I hope you shut the others down before you called me by my name, otherwise this will convo will get fairly short.

What did Steven Hawking get for Christmas? ------ ------ ------ A bike.

What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

I also wanted to write a joke but I forgot it so here I am. Minecraft rocks and everyone who says otherwise is a noob

from south park what do u call a jew on a rope no one ever said the answer, so my answer is a jew on a rope.

Throughout her entire pregnancy Sheniqua smoked, drank, and did many narcotic drugs such as heroin and cocaine. Why did she lose her baby before coming to term? Because I strangled her to death for being black.

being drunk in a mall sounds like it would be alot of fun . . . . . . . but that is public intoxication and that is against the law

What happened when the football player couldn't get his Coke from the vending machine? He got angry.

How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side

Whats cooler than cool? nothing because cool does not have a defined temperature therefore nothing can be cooler than it.

Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

If a black person gets a tan, what do you get? A burned black sausage.

That awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it would.

So a horse walks into a bar... I forget the rest of the joke but you're mom is a whore..

Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

why did billy fall on the sidewalk? he got stabbed

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

What is 100(1+1) -100 + 50 x2 - 300? 0. But who cares? The answer is as worthless as you.

Why did this website get run into the dirt? Because you they let idiots like me post whatever I want. _CamelJocky

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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