- Anti Joke

What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

What's a pirate's favorite letter? None of them. He can't read.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Shit... Shit who? Wrong house... Do I know you Shitt Ronghouse? Yes. Please come in. Okay.

What do you do if you can't go to the Wednesday Night Market on Wednesday? You go on Thursday

why did the mexican cross the road? Becuase his other one was stolen by a Black.

why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

what did the doctor say to the guy with a bullet in his arm you have a bullet in your arm

what's black and has a huge sac? A negro

So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

Why did my pussy get wet? Because I splashed him with water. LOL SO FUNNY OMFG DA BEST JOKE EVA!!

There was a black and a mexican man in a car. Who was driving? None of them; it was the police driving.

Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

Apple hates Blackberry.

How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Q: What do you call a guy that is smart? A: A SMART Guy.

Your mama's so hairy, the only language she knows is wookie.

What is the only non-racist animal? The mexican panda. Why? It's black, white, hispanic, and asian.

I'm gay Mr Goodwin

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

Why was Edgar sad at the swimming pool? Edgar had been taking swimming lessons for a few weeks, on a tuesday-thursday basis, and was not learning how to swim as well as he would have liked. His instructer, Ms. Herpina was also very rude and generally disrespectful to Edgar. As a result of him seeing the lack of progress, and his dislike of his teacher, one day he quit going to his lessons and went to the local Dairy Queen instead with his girlfriend, Susie. Little did he know, his mother had also gone out to buy him DairyQueen, as a celebration to him becoming better at swimming. When she saw him at Dairy Queen, she was very angry at her son, who had lied to her about going to that days' lesson, and had also lied to her about not having a girlfriend. After his mom told his girlfriend that they couldn't date, she took a distraught Edgar to their small apartment. Edgar had always hated this apartment, ever since the first day they moved in as a result from the lack of money to afford a nicer area. After his older brother David stole all that money from his mother to buy drugs a few years back, his life hasn't been the same. His mother was forced to move into an apartment with few luxories, and Edgar was constantly jealous of his friends at school, especially Jason, the dark haired boy who always bragged about how good he was at his PSP games. Edgar only wanted happiness for at least a little while, but was quickly forced back to the pool. He was embarassed at the fact that he couldn't swim, and all the popular girls at the pool were making fun of him. It had been a rough life for Edgar, and he was still only seven years of age. This, my child, is why Edgar was sad at the swimming pool.

Stop driving smart cars you fags

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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