A man walks into a bar, asks for a drink. He then realises that it was a metal bar and not one that serves alcoholic beverages. He then ponders the mysteries of the world and the universe.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

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I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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What did the bar say to the man? Nothing, bars can't talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question; feminists can't change anything.

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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I like the color potato.

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mexicans fishing

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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A man walks into a bar and sees two girls making out. He orders a drink and leaves.

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

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What happened when the mailman shot the plumber? The plumber died.

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why didn't the boy get his soda Because the cashier shot him

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What did the devout Catholic man say to his gay neighbours who just got married? "Congratulations!"

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Lisa: Omg Karen, just had sex with Ben, his weiner was sooo tiny lol. Ben: I think you sent me the wrong text.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops