A: What are the nine most terrifying words in the English dictionary? B: What are they? A: I'm from the government and i'm here to help

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While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

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How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

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Two Jews walked into a bar. Then bought it.

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Why didn't little Jimmy eat his dinner? Jimmy didn't eat his dinner because there was no food. Jimmy is a poor street urchin who died of starvation.

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why did the chair brake? because a car smashed into it. where did it go? all the way to china. whats 3+4? why did the Chinese man get this wrong? Because a chair was in his head.

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What did the DVD player say when a video tape was put in? You incompatible.

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What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

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What does a man and an orange have in common? Nothing.

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roses are red violets are red everything is red who set my house on fire

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Fill in the blank: Hello my name is ___, and today I would like to ask you why you put your real name in the blank? Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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What did Robert Kardashian say at O.J.'s most recent trial? Nothing. He died of esophagal cancer

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Whats worse then world war 3 world war 4

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How do you kill a blonde? By irreparably damaging a major organ. The same way you kill anything else.

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Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

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Why did the girl ask for anal? She didn't. She was raped.

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How long does it take to build a wall? it depends on how big he wall is

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.

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Q: When do u know when your sister is on her period? A: Your dads dick tastes funny.

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- Knock Knock - Who is it ? - I'm a Jehovah witness - Sorry, I don't know anyone by the name of "a Jehovah witness". Bye.

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How did john walk on the sun? We don't know, he probably burned to death before getting close.

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Why did the baby's bedroom smell so bad? The mom farted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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