Q. What happened when a man went to a bar? A. Nothing, The bar was closed.

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What did Santa call the prostitute? Nothing. Santa isn't real.

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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So three nazis walk into a B.A.R

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Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

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Two penguins are sitting in the bathtub, the first one says to the second one "pass the soap." The other penguin says," what do I look like a radio?"

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q2: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2: It was nailed to the first one. Q3: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3: Peer pressure.

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Your mom is not fat!

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Why was the 13 year old drug addict crying? Because somebody shot him in the foot

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream and huddle in a corner of our first grade classroom because of a masked gunman.

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What happens when batman jumps off the top of a building? His fake wings fails and he dies upon impact of the ground.

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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Why couldn't the black guy vote? He was only 17.

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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how many strippers can you fit into a garage? as many as you wanted depending on the size of the garage, but after so many gathered in the same building it is a good probability that some strippers would leave.

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An ant walks into a bar. Nobody Notices...

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Rick Santorum 2012

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a blind man walks off a cliff..... he's dead now.

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had leukemia

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A blind man jumped out of the way as a car ran through the red light at a one way street.

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What's flying and eats rocks? A flying rock eater

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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